I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
