did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
