i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
