drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
