i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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