Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
