So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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