Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My ass is underappreciated
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
