I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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