Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
