Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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