her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
