I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
