This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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