Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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