i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize