Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
