Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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