I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
