what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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