Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I will pee on everything he values.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
