I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
