you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
