so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
