I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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