Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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