dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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