We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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