White coat. Heels.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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