I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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