we have pet lesbian snakes
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
