I just made out with a guy for $7.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
