Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
