Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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