guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
