Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dear god my vagina.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
