you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
