Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
