i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
