My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
