Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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