I cockslap morals
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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