I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize