Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
