My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
