we're blogging at a bar
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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