Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
