They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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