You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
