doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
