Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just had sex on a roof
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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