I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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