Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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