with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
