just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
