So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
