she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
