Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize