I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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