When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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