can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
high people should be assigned attendants
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize