Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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