every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
