First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
