ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
