Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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